100th Post

So apparently this is my 100th post.  I had something grand planned, I was going to post about how my hair literally never changes, no matter what, where, when, I always seem to have a pomp/quiff.  The only excpetion to this rule is when I have a nice thick fringe, but I so rarely get that to work and look nice that it ends up getting pinned back into a pomp anyway.

I did find some older pictures and it's funny how I never used to really pomp it up, I'd pin it back so it was almost flat, and yet recently, I've really gone for it and it's ended up quite high:

But my grand posting plans failed and I couldn't find many good, hilarious pictures of me, so I've mostly given up.

But I do want to say Happy Monday!  And that things don't feel so bad this week.  It's payday on Thursday but I have to be really careful that it doesn't all disappear straight away, we need to start shopping for Christmas and I need to stay in budget.  At least it's only October, and I have 2 more paydays after this one with which to get shopping, I just want to do most of it this month!  But I think that's just because I like shopping!

I also want to say, that I think you should go and read the blog that me and my oldest friends are working on together.  It's subject is Strictly Come Dancing, so you probably need to like that but we're mostly pretty funny and entertaining so you might like it even if you won't like Strictly....  It's called Strictly Sequins, naff I know, but go and follow it, even if you don't read it, it makes me sad seeing that it only has 3 followers, two of whom are the sister's of one of the authors!

And also, although I haven't set it up yet, I'm thinking of starting a blogging Secret Santa this year, if anyone is interested.  It's a bit like Postcrossing or something, we used to do it on IAM and it worked pretty well, just a small gift, no more than £5.  Element of trust is needed as I'd need to collate people's addresses but we'll see if it works and if anyone is willing to share the Christmas spirit with other bloggers!  I'll post more deets when I've set up the blog for it.

Update on Fail

I'm still in a bad mood.  I didn't get the job I applied for, not even shortlisted, so am going back to the job where I'm treated like a 5 year old.  Depression awaits....

Fail

Well inevitably that went out of the window right.

I just haven't felt much like blogging, it's all just woe is me emo crap anyway.  I don't know whether it's SAD setting in early or whether it's just a general malaise.  Yknow the Moby song, Why Does My Heart (Feel So Bad)  It's totally like that.  It just consumes me, for no real reason, and I can't shake it off.  And all I want to do is sit in my fat clothes and eat food.  Which is what I did yesterday.

I told work I had a migraine.  I think most of the blokes in my office knew it was more than that, one even said, "I knew it was because you just couldn't be arsed..."  It's good that they understand and don't judge me for it, I think they feel bad for me really, enjoying this job and having to go back to one which literally depresses this life out of me, hence the depression setting in now I think, because I know that if nothing else comes up, I'm going to be back in Admin Office hell in 2 months time.

I actually started crying this morning when I got here, what a tit, well not proper crying, I did feel like I could easily have freefalled into full on crying, but I kinda just got choked when I was telling them about how much I hate my 'normal' job.  In fact, most of yesterday I felt like I just wanted to cry; yknow sometimes you just need a good cry. 

Literally zoned out for like 10 minutes there.  Just staring at my desk.  Good to do that sometimes, just let your brain wander.  Was thinking about my old desk project that I used to want to get off the ground.  The idea was, that people would take pictures of their desks and post them in the Facebook Group.  It was quite interesting, well I thought it was interesting, but most people just didn't bother!

Anyway, going to go and slit my wrists in the toilets (funny how often I genuinely think about suicide and yet my doctor never takes me seriously, perhaps it is just a cry for help.)