Plus Size Wedding Dress Shopping

So, where do I start with the Plus Size wedding dress shopping?!  I've wanted to do a proper follow-up post on this for quite a while, and as the day (hopefully) draws closer to me picking up The One, I thought I'd take a little look back at my experiences.

I was inspired to write this based on this post on the Wedding Ideas Magazine blog and even more inspired back in November when Annabel from Love My Dress posted about the 'issue'.  Most of what follows is taken from 2 emails I sent to Annabel...

I was dreading looking for a dress and it took me 7 months after getting engaged to even pluck up the courage to phone a dress shop.  I dread clothes shopping most of the time anyway, let alone shopping for my wedding dress, the most important dress I'll ever buy, right?!  I had a rough idea of what I wanted, I knew I wanted something tea length, I had dreams of tulle skirts and bolero jackets.

So eventually I booked an appointment with a shop in Cheam Village.  I had a look on their website to see what designers they stocked.  I spotted a Chanticleer dress, well a few Chanticleer dresses, Babilee in particular, a gorgeous creation of polka dot tulle, amazing.

The day arrived and off I went to the shop with my mum and my sister.  I asked about the Babilee and the other tea length dresses I had spotted on the Chanticleer website.  The lady in the shop was very helpful but ultimately did end up pulling out a few other styles of dress for me to try.  As I had no idea what was what when it came to wedding dresses I agreed.  She was helpful and any I didn't fit into, she pinned me into with a false modesty panel.  I couldn't fit into the Babilee and so I tried on another tea length dress.  My sister immediately told me I looked like a hobbit and that the short dress made me look really short and fat.  

To clarify, I'm 5'6" and a size 24.  That's not that short and I like to think I'm relatively well proportioned so as not to look like a cube!

So, off came the tea length and on went a procession of long dresses.  I tried on a Grecian style one and a more structured one.  Pictures of all of these can be found in my previous post here.

I hated most of them, then tried on the Chanticleer Montiverdi.  The One.  Until I saw the price tag.  At £1300 it was a little over what I had been hoping to spend and so resigned myself to the fact I wouldn't be able to have it.

I put it off even more until October when I decided to make an appointment at All That Glitters at Allders in Croydon.  I cannot begin to describe how 100% unhelpful they were.  They saw me as a plus size bride and instead of listening to what I wanted, they just decided what they thought I should wear and so out came all these disgusting (to me) dresses with tucks and folds and silk roses and assymetric pleats.  One assistant, wouldn't stop talking and the other wouldn't stop rolling her eyes!  They got out their stock book and instead of listening to what I wanted, they just went through which ones they had above a size 18.  And I felt like I had to justify myself every time I said no!

Onto a second appointment on that day.  Another shop local to me in Cheam.  I had tried to make an appointment with this shop back in July when I started looked but had never heard from them despite messages and emails.  I started to feel paranoid that it was because I was plus size that they didn't want to know!  My mum eventually got hold of them and so off we went to Aurora Bride.  I was met by Natalie, shoeless and slipper socks and whereas some people might find that unprofessional, it kinda put me at ease! (Plus the carpet was so plush in there, I don't blame her!)  She told me to have a look through and use red tags to mark the ones I liked. (oh dear, this reminded me straight away of my awful experience at the Bridal Factory Outlet I visited in North Yorkshire, which I realise I didn't blog about.... another time!) and told me to put them on the dresses I liked.

I told her briefly that I wanted relatively plain, tulle skirt, sweetheart neck and she totally got it.  Within 30 seconds she had pulled out 3 dresses that were just so spot on, I was like, "Why the fuck didn't I come here sooner!" and also I thought, "Why the fuck didn't the girls this morning get it this quick?!"


Natalie was so helpful, and didn't once make comment or pass judgement on my size.  It was such a totally different experience to before.  I found two dresses that day that I was quite taken with.  But still, something didn't feel quite right.

Panicking, I made MORE appointments.  This time with shops in Bromley.  I made 3 appointments in one day!

Basically, despite my sister's original feelings about tea length dresses, after my most recent shopping trip and the cold sweats induced by it, I had decided, this was my day, my one day to look super and so I was determined to get a tea length dress.  So I went with that premise. 

The first shop had nothing tea length and was full of really very fluffy, humongous dresses!!  I did find something nice in there but it was a size 14 sample size and therefore, I couldn't get into it.  The lady did promise she could get me a size 18 sample but I left it, knowing I had two more shops to visit.  I will probably still dream of that dress, a gorgeous 1930's Art Deco inspired chiffon creation. 

Onto the second one.  I had high hopes for this shop.  Marianne Jessica in Bromley.  I'm happy to name them as Michelle was SO helpful, it was such a breath of fresh air!  I was reassured when I made the call to book the appointment.  Michelle promised that she would help me as she was plus size herself and knew how stressful it can be.  I quickly realised that probably nothing would be within my price range but I vowed to try stuff on nonetheless.  I picked out all the tulle Chanticleer dresses.  First was the full length Rosita which was lovely.  The second was the Aurora which was tea length but a bit short.  Then came the Babilee.  Oh, oh, the Babilee.  The dress I had first coveted when I looked at the Chanticleer website and which I was unable to fit into on my first dress shopping experience.  It was amazing, I was totally in love.  Michelle measured me but she did hint that the overall price would be around £1400.  Oh.  Oh dear.  I suggested to my mum that perhaps I would go half with my dad to be able to afford it.

The one thing I did learn from Michelle, is that dress shops will quite often see a larger bride and assume we want to wear something frumpy/frilly/assymetric!  She put me in something frumpy, frilly and assymetric to prove her point and it was like a bolt of lightning!  I suddenly realised that this is what every other shop had been trying to do!  And it did make me laugh and helpfully shut my mum up because she realised how stupid that kind of dress looks!

We headed on to the third shop and stood outside for a minute deciding whether or not to go in and that maybe we'd send my sister in instead of me to try dresses on for a laugh.  We got up there and it was RAMMED!  It was really really offputting.  The shop assistants were busy putting all the dresses away and the changing rooms were all tiny!  There were brides in there with 5 people in tow plus brothers and the prescence of men I found particularly offputting.  I'm not saying, ban them completely, but, I dunno, I expect wedding dress shops to be havens of female dominated serenity.  This was not and I hated it.  I asked to go round the corner to a quieter part of the shop but after another 15 minutes of waiting, the shop had emptied until I was more or less the only one in there.

The assistant seemed VERY reluctant to let me try on the tea length dress, despite me telling her quite clearly it was my desire to have a tea length dress. She put me in two other dresses, both of which I said I didn't like and I didn't even step out of the changing room.  The third was quite nice and I was almost, ALMOST tempted.  The other assistant was bringing over various dresses and when I said I really didn't like it she just rolled her eyes at me and walked away.  I did find The One that day.  However, I decided to buy it from Aurora in Cheam (bare feet Natalie, who I loved so much, and spent most of my appointment sitting on the floor talking babies with!)

I won't divulge whether I went tea length or not (I'll keep you guessing until the big day, as I know some of my readers are actual guests at my wedding!!)

However, in a further disheartening move, my usual size 24 figure was rated as a size 30 by the designers size chart.  It's meant that I've had to order a size 28, and which kinda doesn't give me much to aim for (I had been hoping I could order a '22' and have something to aim for!!)  

I've rambled and I promised I wouldn't but the moral of the story is this:

• Know what you want!
• Don't let them put you in frilly dresses that, 'hide your bulk' if that's not what you want!
• Be prepared that most shops only carry samples in a size 12/14.  Some will do larger samples but I've found they're never in the ones I liked!
• Stand your ground - You are there to pay them ridiculous money for a few yards of fabric, You tell Them what you WANT! (without being too Bridezilla!)
• Seek out the shops with larger samples - they're few and far between but they do exist.  I know a few in Yorkshire, one in Datchett and one in Catford.
• See if the shop can order a larger sample.
• Go armed with pictures.
• Stick to your budget
• If all else fails - prepare for bespoke...!  I was on the verge of bespoke, crying into my bank statement, but bespoke doesn't always mean expensive (I say this, even though I know it ain't true!)

The whole experience has made me want to start my own plus size dress shop because I think we get a rough end of the deal (and I realise, that extends beyond wedding dresses, but I won't get into my fat activism here!)  I know very petite brides get a rough deal too, but, oh woe is me, plus size brides get a harder time of it.  Oh and the other thing.  We have to pay extra for being plus size....

Instagram

I have a confession.  In case you hadn't noticed!  I am a huge Instagram devotee.  I bloody love it.  It's given me the control over photography again, it takes me back to being at uni and doing my final year project using only the camera on my phone.  It's a camera, right?

I post all my pictures to my other blog: http://photographie365.blogspot.com/

But I also just discovered this natty little website too: http://statigr.am/amygeorgina

Just thought I'd share....

Wedding Converse

Well, lookie here, we are totally going to order these for the evening do at our wedding, oh yes!!

Andy's Converse - You can't really see it, but it says Mr Hiorns on the bottom of the heel...

These are mine, of course, check out the leopard print!  As with Andy's these are stamped - mine of course say Mrs Hiorns

I hope we do actually get round to ordering these as they're brilliant and will make a brilliant keepsake of our day.  Andy's never had Converse before so I'm taking his Converse cherry!  Ha.

What do you reckon??

#ZOMGBloggersBash

Gah, I used to be ever so good at blogging things, and lately, I just don't have time!  I need more hours in the day dammit!!

So, what news have I for you?

First, and most recently, I attended the #ZOMGBloggersBash on Monday night at The Distillers in Smithfields.  Can I just say, lovely pub, BITCH TO GET TO!!  Total fucked up nightmare to get there but nevermind!

I quite enjoyed it, I was nervous as hell, but I was with Lex and Charly and so I kind of felt safe.  The bar was rammed when we got there, we picked up our name badges and were handed our Bloggers Bingo cards - the name of the game was to meet new people and gather their names based on criteria - red nails, someone who uses Wordpress to host their blog, someone whose twitter name begins with a capital letter etc.  The prizes on offer were pretty cool.  Personally, I was holding out either for the Illamasqua goody bag or the You're Naked Without One hairclips!

We kinda stumbled around, not sure of ourselves, and not sure of really where to place ourselves.  Lots of bits going on, the girls from The Historical Sauces were there with a table full of vintage styling books and luscious lippies, Little Miss B hats with some gorgeous samples and Wonderland Wigs were there too with some samples to try on (though my beehive, WHICH I DIDN'T GET A PICTURE OF!, wasn't well suited to wig trying!).  There was even a pop-up studio hosted by Tigz Rice Studios, but it was all a bit too busy and so we headed to the bar and got a cider and sort of stood bewildered for a bit.

Eventually we sort of stumbled into conversation with Bethany from My Arched Eyebrow and Betty from Betty Leopard which was lovely, ah, at last, lovely girls to chat to!!  From there we headed upstairs to where Lex and I had thrown our coats at the beginning of the night.  Relief to sit down, stupid pink kitten heels.  I re-iterate my point, kitten heels look great when paraded in front of the bedroom mirror but they're a feckin nightmare to walk anywhere in!  Lex was there chatting away to Tabatha from You're Naked Without One.

Eventually came the climax of the night - the burlesque.  I'd never seen any burlesque before and so I wasn't sure what to expect!  Ruby Jones was first and did something that I wasn't expecting, but I loved it a lot!  Miss Banbury Cross came next and didn't disappoint - champers everywhere!

Then came the Bloggers Bingo raffle draw.  First up was the consultation with Genna McWhinnie - I think it was aimed at beauty and fashion bloggers, lots of whom were in attendance that night - as the paper was drawn out I said I wasn't sure if I'd be able to use this prize.  Lex said, was your sheet really folded up - I said yes, and by the looks of it, I guessed it was my sheet Ree Ree was pulling out!  Sure enough it was!!  Mixture of "Yay I've won!" and "Oh dear, I feel bad, someone else would probably have a real need for that!".  That probably makes me sound really ungrateful, but I felt bad for winning a prize I wasn't sure I could use!  Nevertheless, I think Lex is going to use the prize to hook up with Genna and create a "What Happens at a Rockabetty Shoot" video so that's pretty perfect really!

Time to head home, we grabbed a cab with Shona from Heyday (lovely to finally meet her, albeit, I felt starstruck for some reason, no idea why, but she's just such a lovely beautiful lady!) and Cathy from Perdita's Pursuits.  They both got out at St Pauls and we carried on to Waterloo.  Lex headed off to Waterloo East but Charly and I were greeted with empty departures boards.  Oh.  Lovely.  Snow?  Perhaps?  No, apparently a train had broken down at WIMBLEDON which had shut down more or less everything North of there.  Lovely.

I cannot thank Charly's Chap Phil for coming to pick us up from Wimbledon (we got the Tube, with a nosy bloke who was ever-so interested in our conversation!) and dropping me back to my car at Worcester Park!

I'd love to do something similar again, but perhaps on a slightly smaller scale.  Big thanks to ReeRee Rockette from Rockalily and Zoe from The London Lipgloss for organising.  It was lovely to finally meet ReeRee after chatting to her on Twitter for what feels like years!  Hope to meet again soon!

God Bless My Parents

After yesterday's doom and gloom post I received a wonderful email from my mum and dad.


I just wanted to share one snippet as it made me pee myself laughing this morning at 6am when I read it:


"If you end up going in the van dont worry he will put some clean carpet down and maybe bolt a chair in there for you to sit on,  we still have the full harness seatbelts, it'll be fine,  if you are lucky he will even give it a wash beforehand!"


Brilliant.

Is this cold feet or just a winter of discontent?

Hello!  And I suppose Happy New Year!  I am lacking in a desk calendar right now so I’m a bit lost as to what day it actually is.

I realise I have not blogged in about 2 months.  I think I was probably disheartened, being the comment whore that I am, that no one commented on my last post about finally finding my wedding dress.  That and the fact that I’ve run out of steam and inspiration again for the wedding.

It’s now 2012.  The year we get married.  We got engaged just over a year ago.  This time last year, we were in the throes of finding a venue and ultimately realising we couldn’t afford a wedding.  Fast forward a year, I’m in the throes of second thoughts about the venue and ultimately realising we can’t afford a wedding.  Nice.

I should be excited but I'm bricking it, we have what, 4 months or so to find nearly £15k. HOW? HOW HOW HOW? We're already making a list of what we're going to cut - band, sweetie table, flowers, house for the week (and just spend two nights in a hotel) etc. Nice huh!

I think our flowers are sorted, my mum knows a florist but it was quite hard getting across to her what I really wanted and most of my ideas where shot-down. Nevermind,.  Apparently I don’t want lilac roses or gerbera’s or hydrangea’s, “Because they’re the wrong purple and are not ‘vintage’”.  It took me a good 20 minutes to get a word in and tell her I didn’t want a vintage wedding, it just so happened that my dress was a vintage style.  Might have to go back in a few weeks and put my foot down on what I want.

My dad is going to attempt to make our cake. We saw an image in a wedding cake magazine and I just said, "That's the one".   I’m pleased he wants to make it (well, that said, I think it’s going to work out cheaper to buy pre-made cakes and then my dad will just decorate them).  But it means we can have what we want without the ridiculous price tag (no offence cake makers, I cannot afford £400 on a CAKE!!)

Andy finally asked his Best Man last week, so that’s good news and only took him a year to the day from our engagement!  Think he’s going to sort out suiting in the next month or so.

I need to find shoes and underwear and a bolero by the end of March for my prospective dress fitting.

I sat awake for a good hour lastnight worrying about logistics; how to get my great Aunt there, where can she stay, how will we get the cake there, will the cake be okay as my dad will have to put it together on the Friday night, do I get dad to put it together after the ceremony, do we get the caterer to put it together, whose car are we going in, do we need to hire a car, am I going to end up travelling gypsy boy style in the back of my dad’s Transit?  On and on and on and on these questions went round and round and round.  It wore me out thank fuck so I eventually fell asleep, but still, it was just awful. 

I’ve been back at work two days now and have achieved shit all because I’ve been worrying about the wedding.  I start looking at other venues, before I remind myself it really will be cheaper this way, it really will be the day we want, even if we are getting married between two toilet doors….  Yes, really, this is a HUGE stress of mine, and I’m really considering throwing my toys out of the pram and telling them that I want to get married in the upper barn – even if that means it’s all hands on deck to get the tables laid post ceremony.  ARGH!!  Then, I keep thinking, should we have just got married up here in the local registry office on the Friday?  Should we have just got married in the registry office in Chichester?  Should we have just got married in VEGAS?!!!!

To be honest, I'm a bit too pre-occupied with lots of other things to be that interested in the wedding at the minute, how depressingly sad is that? I should be super excited, but I'm just not, because I feel like I've made the wrong decision with all of it so far and ultimately, we can’t afford any of it.

I’m sure my parents will read this and weep.  Yes, I’m sorry, I am sounding like a bridezilla and I cannot thank the two of you enough for the support you’ve given so far.  Do not think for one minute that I don’t appreciate it, I just feel terribly stuck with it all (it’s probably not helping that our boiler broke yesterday, eating our last £300 for the month, and so all I’m dreaming about is payday, even though, as soon as payday comes, we have to save save save, or rather, pay the photographer off and save the rest.)  And I know everyone involved in this is bricking it about money as much as we are.  Whatever happens, we will have a wedding, Andy and I will be married, and so I just need to tell myself that, and everyone else involved needs to stop worrying.  Who cares if we have to have an iPod instead of the band, who cares if I have shoes from BHS instead of Vivienne Westwood? 

I tell you half the problem.  Wedding blogs.  And I don’t like to drag up conversations/arguments/rants from last year but it’s true.  I look at other weddings on wedding blogs and I find it really hard to compete.  Like my wedding is a fucking competition.   It’s OUR wedding day.  Why should I care about gratification from blog readers/writers?  Why am I so goddamn needy for attention?!

Anyway, rant over, my back hurts, I have another day of nothing to show for having sat at my desk since 7:30am and I have to take Scarlett to the Dr’s as we’re getting sleepless nights with her whimpering all night long.

We have a Winner!

Saturday 5th November.  Three dress shops.  One day.  One goal: find the fucking dress!!

First appointment of the day, bit of a weird shop, I tried on a few things, they were nice, but quite expensive.  I did see one I LOVED, but it was teeny and I couldn't get into it.  It's a Benjamin Roberts dress:

Source

It was all chiffon, a fabric I hadn't really considered, and it had a gorgeous Art Deco-esque detail on the waist.  It was really gorgeous.  We draped a chiffon jacket over the top and it was such a 40's look I was really smitten.  Really smitten!  The lady in the shop did find a larger sample for me that she was going to order in.  I think this will always be, the one that could've been.

Onto the second shop.  The wonderful Marianne Jessica in Bromley.  Michelle was just superb, so helpful and attentive, it was brilliant.  Funnily enough one of my friends has just bought her wedding dress from there.  I ventured towards it and was just told, "No, no, don't look at that one...."  Cryptic!  Until my mum told me on the way out it was Beth's dress!! 

I am indebted to Michelle because she got me into the Chanticleer Babilee, a dress I have fantasized about since July when I first started dress shopping.  The first shop, Cloud 9, had a small sample and as a result, I wouldn't get into it.  I managed to squeeze into the sample in Marianne Jessica and uh, I was totally smitten with that too!

Source

Bit cross because the picture does NOT do it justice.  It's tea length with a gorgeous polka dot tulle over the top.  So gorgeous.  And it just looked amazing.  Michelle took some very detailed measurements to enable them to tailor the dress with a longer bodice and a halter strap.  Unfortunately, at £1300, this dress will reside with the other Chanticleer dress, in my, "What could've been if I had a bottomless pit of money!"

Also, Michelle had the best trick for getting into button back dresses - elastic bands!!  They did the job, I tell you!

Onto the third shop of the day.  We stood outside and considered sending Lex in to try dresses on instead of me as I had my mind made up, I wanted the Babilee and was prepared to go halves (or thirds....) on it with my dad.  

In the end we bottled in and I announced myself as the bride to be.  The shop was terrible to be fair.  Dark and dated.  And FULL!!  There must have been possibly 4 other brides in there, all with an entourage that included men.  Now, I'm not a prude right, but I see wedding dress shops as a bit of a female dominated sanctuary.  The presence of all these blokes really put me off.  I picked out a few dresses (they really didn't have a lot that I liked, I think they catered to the more frilly, swathes of fabric end of the scale! and said I wasn't putting any on until the men had gone.  I mean, not in a diva strop way (honest!)  I just said I'd rather wait until the shop had emptied out a bit.

Eventually it did and so into the changing room I went.  The first two dresses I tried on I didn't even come out of the changing room, they were just horrible.  Oh, and did I mention, aside from the men in the shop, there were 4 other shop assistants all glaring at me with such looks of distaste I felt really put off!  I tried one on, and it was quite nice, I was really nearly sold, but I think that's because I was tired and I had just had enough!  I had picked out a tea length dress that was really quite 'plain'.  The woman seemed reluctant to put me in it and as usual, picked out all the 'fat girl' dresses for me, all of which I said no to.

On with the tea length dress.  Well, wow.  What else do I say.  It was amazing.  It didn't fit obviously, but you could see that if it were to fit it would do all it needed to!  It was a great length and was plain enough that I could add my own embellishments to it (stitching to make a sweetheart neck and a halter strap).  

Even my sister said it looked nice.  Breakthrough!!

Only problem.  The tag had, "One Only", written on it.  What did that mean?!  The shop assistant vowed to call me back in the week and let me know.

I went home and looked up the style and found that my local shop, Aurora Bride, is a stockist of this designer.  So, I called them on the Monday morning.  No sample to try on, but they could order it.  Taking a skive to work I popped down that afternoon and am pleased to say, I finally have a wedding dress on order!

The design and style?  Well, that would be telling....