Strange Dreams

Well, it seems that once a month, usually coincidentally that time of the month, I have really really strange dreams.

Lastnight I had two which baffled me. The first involved two sets of twins, one set the same age as Scarlett and the other set were newborns. For some reason these twins were in my care, but I was being told that it was time for them to go and so I was dressing them and putting them in car seats ready to take them somewhere. And do you ever get it when in your dreams, you sort of know the reason for something, even if it isn't mentioned in the dream itself? Well, I seemed to get the feeling in this dream that we had been fostering these twins ready for them to be adopted, and I was finding it really hard to let them go, I didn't want to give them up. It was very strange that one.

And the other dream was about my first day at work (tomorrow). I was getting the bus there, and had worn my trainers instead of shoes so my feet didn't hurt. The trainers were very clearly my red kangaroos that are my scruffy trainers. I suddenly realised when I got to work that I didn't have my new brogues or my paperwork (which I'm stressing over because I don't have a P60 and I hope it's not going to cock up pay day for me!) So I called Andy to ask him to drop it all off for me. So I was waiting for him when the other girl that I'm starting with tomorrow (not that I've meant her) was taken off on a tour of the uni and I just said to my manager that I'd catch them up once my shoes had arrived. Eventually the shoes arrived, still the box in the Office bag (where they still are in my bedroom), and I was hurrying to change into them and catch them up on this tour. So I went in the direction they'd walked off in, but I couldn't find them, I was totally lost and felt like I'd mucked up the first day at work. I sat on some stairs and cried. How pathetic. But also, so obvious that I'm stressing about work tomorrow.

My dreams are weird.

What a difference 10 months makes!

Christ, the last time I posted it really was all doom and gloom. Well, we came the decision (ten days before our baby was born by Caesarean section) to keep the baby, and that we could work it out, that it really wouldn't be as bad as we thought it would and we'd just try and get on the best we could.

So, on the 25th March 2008, our daughter, eventually named Scarlett Mae Hiorns, was born at 12.34pm, weighing 6lbs 3 oz.

It was tough to begin with, and for probably the first few weeks we were back and forth between Andy's house in Worcester Park, and my parents house in Bromley. Eventually, and I cannot remember how it happen, we just moved into the Worcester Park house with his mum, something which I still struggle with, even to this day it gets on my nerves at times, but more on that later...

So, little Scarlett has been an absolute joy. We don't even think about those dark days when I was pregnant. It's all so long ago now that it just doesn't cross our minds, and we wouldn't change it for the world. She honestly is everything to us. Sleeping through the night since she was 3 months old, having solids and loving them since 6 months, starting to crawl now at nearly 8 months. Every day is really fun with her. Wish I wasn't starting a new job on Monday!

But we need the money, and it's a really good job, that may as well have been created for me, part admin, part event planning, planning in particular the graduation photography, it's just perfect and at the perfect time. I am excited, but I really will miss seeing Scarlett so much. I'm hoping we can work the hours so I can be home by 5ish to feed her dinner and spend some time with her before bed.

So that's us for now. MiL goes to the day centre 3 days a week and we've just got a bloody Renault Kangoo with a goddam ramp in the back, thing looks like a popemobile and drives like a piece of shit and I get rage just thinking about it actually. We had a big ramp installed in front of the house, devaluing it I'm sure. I can't say I'm happy about the situation with her, as I'm not, I really do hate having to live with her and all the associated bollocks that goes with her disabilites and stuff, but I just need to suck it up as it's not forever.

I need to get in the shower as we're taking Scarlett to her Water Babies class shortly, they make them swim underwater and stuff. Hopefully she'll behave this week as I fed her at 7.30 then put her back to bed so hopefully she won't be tired and we'll fed her within the next half hour so she's not hungry either and then fingers crossed she won't cry the whole lesson!

Will post more later, although I think you're pretty much caught up on our crazy lives!