Time Flies....

This post was originally published on my self-hosted WordPress site.  For a whole host of reasons, that didn't work out so, ta-dah!  Back here.

Original post date: 21 April 2015

Not that I've been having much fun!

Let's just say, the beginning of the year did not get off to the best start.  For numerous reasons.  Mainly to do with some marriage issues.  And that's all I'll say.

I am pleased to report though that we're putting things back together, slowly but surely.  We're working on our (my) issues and trying to fix it.

Things have been a bit hectic since my last post.  Christmas, coming back to work and 'those' issues have all taken their toll, and suddenly I find myself in April.

I want to do a bit of a post for Depression Awareness Week but I'll do that separately.  I wanted to let you all (my few readers) know that I was still here, still surviving.

I went on a very enlightening course in March to target my anger issues.  I came back feeling empowered and ready to put a different spin on things.  I'm mostly working my programme but as part of that, I need to get back into journalling and blogging as a way of making me present and aware.  Which is hard when you sit at a desk all day and wish the hours away and try everything in your power not to be present!

We're moving house again in a few weeks time.  The new place is smaller, but closer to Worcester Park.  There's not a lot of bulky storage (boy, am I going to miss the garage!) and has built in wardrobes so it's going to be interesting to see where we're going to put everything.  Already I'm having kittens about the kids toys, (Scarlett's room is certainly smaller), and also all the stuff from our study.  I'm thinking of just putting majority of my books into storage or something until we eventually buy a place and I can have some fitted bookcases made!  I feel however, that it's a more realistic move for us.  Ultimately we will end up in something this size (or possibly smaller) thanks to the fucked up market in our part of the UK, so I think it's a good time to have a clear out of all the stuff that's been hanging around for the last year.

Scarlett continues to do well at school.  Her reading and writing know no bounds (though, her writing still needs work, I'm still cursing the school for insisting on teaching them cursive, I kind of think it's holding her back!).  Her listening still needs work and her iPad use is quite frankly ridiculous, but she keeps us down with the kids through her YouTube viewing....!

Woody is finally walking, and has suddenly become a proper mini person in the last couple of weeks.  I like him a lot more than I did this time last year (honesty is the best policy, right?!)  He knows what he wants, and isn't afraid to throw a tantrum if he doesn't get it.  But it is getting a bit easier with his pointing at what he wants.  His current vocabulary includes, "Hiya", "Iggle Piggle", "Sgar sgar" (Scarlett) and "Des Des" (his childminder).  He's very good at nodding and shaking his head and seems to mostly get this right, though it does have hilarious uses, "Woody, are you a monkey?" *Nods head vigourously*.

We've joined a gym in an effort to shift the horrific amount of weight we've gained in recent months (years!).  It's going well so far though Andy has yet to make it up there.  We need to do some Saturday morning's together when the kids can go to the crèche/kids activities and Andy and I can get 2 hours in.  I've been trying to go as much as I can, I have aqua tonight and I'm very excited about it!

Work is....  Yeah, well, work is work.  I'm not massively enjoying it, I miss being at home (I mean, who wouldn't!).  I wish I could go part time but that's not going to happen any time soon (if ever!)  It's a bit depressing to think I might have another 40 years of working ahead of me.  I cannot be stuck doing admin forever, I seem to have lost any skills.  I feel sometimes like I could've done anything, but I threw it all away about 13 years ago and that was that.  I'd love to work for myself, but doing what I don't know.  It's very hard to feel that expanse of time ahead of you, with no real goal of how you want to fill it.

Any ideas?!