This post was originally published on my self-hosted WordPress site. For a whole host of reasons, that didn't work out so, ta-dah! Back here.
I've also decided to re-post and not backdate the post date so that it shows up today as it still mostly rings true. The reasons I've given up and changed sites and then tried again is because at the heart of it all, I really enjoy writing. Writing is one of those things that has really helped when the going has gotten tough in the past, it's always been like free therapy!
Anyway, I clearly need a bit more therapy at the minute hence being back here....
Original post date: 21 March 2014
I re-branded and relaunched my blog back in January under a new name, new strapline, new hosting service, but it's still the same old me behind the writing.
Since then I've thrown myself heavily into making connections and trying to read as many parenting blogs as I can and one thing has totally overwhelmed me and that's the competition!
It's really daunting. As someone who for some reason has always fancied a shot at gaining online notoriety and recognition for my writing, blogging, tweeting, Instagramming and just generally being a nice person (in the virtual world!) it's come as a bit of a blow when I realise what an uphill struggle it is. I'm sure that sounds really lame and like I can't be arsed. The simple fact is, I don't think I'm cut out for the blogging world! At least, not the blogging world of today.
When I started blogging I was about 17 or 18. I definitely remember blogging sporadically whilst I was at uni, and I also used to blog a lot in the secret world of IAM (part of BMEzine - probably NSFW btw...!) which going back through the posts over there, I did a lot during 2006, 2007 and 2008 (when Scarlett was a baby!). I should copy some of the posts over maybe for Archive Day at some point, some of them are quite interesting reading; my random little rambles about life at uni and then having Scarlett.
Ultimately though, my blogging style hasn't changed. I've always used it as an online diary, I've always found it very cathartic (my recent blog posts especially are testament to that!). They've always been personal posts, they're always from the heart. But I'm beginning to wonder whether that's what people actually want to read about....
I get disheartened when people don't comment on my posts, or I feel like no ones reading, or I don't get a tweet from someone saying "nice post". I worry I don't blog enough, that my posts are too long, that there's not enough pictures, that I don't run competitions, that I don't do reviews or sponsored posts.
Should it matter?! When I get to the heart of it and I really dig down into WHY I blog, it is just about my life. I'm sure people find my blog boring, they probably think I swear too much or my posts are too long and really don't have much to say for themselves. But when I do blog, I enjoy it, and I guess that's why I get so disheartened and feel like giving up.
When I blog, it means something, I have something to say, something to get out - I don't blog for the sake of it! There are plenty who do, and well done to them. What I wouldn't give to do reviews and sponsored posts and make money from my blog. I don't have time for that though. As much as I love writing, I have a bloody difficult 13 week old to look after, as well as a 6 year old, as well as a husband who I feel guilty about if I don't sit on the sofa with of an evening!!
I guess what I'm trying to get out is that I need to stop worrying so much about how much of a following I have, or whether anyone reads my blog, I should just enjoy it for what it is, stop worrying about the competition, and get back to loving it again. Time will tell whether I increase my following, start doing reviews and sponsored posts, or whether I just stick to it being my inane ramblings.