Haircut

Various terrible photos of my new haircut. I don't have one of what it looked like before but I much prefer this. Give it two days, two times of me drying to blow dry it myself and it'll all look well crap!

Anyway, three day weekend as I'm off on Monday as Andy is back in the office. Wooop!

Going to an event tomorrow morning to see if we can find a childminder, that's going to be fun. Hope they don't ask for a deposit or anything, we're not going to have the money until the end of March now. I might just leave it to Andy to be honest, he can find a childminder, I trust his judgement.

Am going, we're watching Goodfella's. God I hate Ray Liotta's character, what a horrible person.

AWOL

Well, haven't been around much, mainly because we got cut off again at home. Not going to be reconnected until Friday at the earliest, booo! So am having to snatch internet time whilst I'm at work, which isn't easy when you work with a hawk like I do!

Andy's mum is likely to be discharged from hospital today, and is hopefully going straight to the care home which will be very strange indeed. It hadn't occured to me that she might not be coming back to the house at all. Makes me sort of want to go and buy 20 litres of white paint and coat the house in it, fresh start sort of thing yknow. Will wait and see, apparently the care home are waiting for a pressure relieving mattress for her, which might be today, or might be tomorrow, but am on standby to go home and look after Scarlett. Andy just sent me the funniest picture, but I don't have my camera cable here so can't upload it to show you! Damn, will have to wait until Friday!

So, I got the job last week, althought it literally hasn't sunk in because, well, no one's told me anything yet. I don't really know what's going to happen, when I need to handover to someone, what I need to pack, I can only assume I need to pack all my belongings from this desk and move them upstairs. Might be a good opportunity to have a clear out at the same time. I want to take my keyboard with me, I'm really used to it and it just feels nice and works nice, some of the older ones are horrible, this is a sort of ergonomic one and I'm just used to it, and in a job that involves a lot of typing I want to take it with me! Sorry, that was too much information about how much I love my keyboard!

I used chatroulette.com the other night, it was hilarious! It was mostly people wanking off which was unnerving, but also fascinating; big ones, small ones, flaccid ones just lying there, ones in pants, some pointing right at you! I had about 6 interesting conversations with people, if that actually! Mostly it was just clicking 'next' before the other person could 'next' you, thereby deciding you weren't interesting looking enough, it was quite depressing. At one point, a guy stopped singing Amazing Grace just to tell me I was fat; you should've seen him though, typical American fattie! Fucker! So yeah, alas no internet at home means no chatroulette fun until Friday, but I'll be back, it was fascinating! Think I might need to show more cleavage or something just to avoid being 'nexted'!

Music is My Radar

Seriously, I would be literally lost without music. It's like, I have to have a really good session once a week to top me up. And tonight is one of those sessions. Currently Playing: Charlotte by Kittie, anyone remember them? I think I kept this song to remind me of my particular dark days as a teenager, listening to my Kerrang! album on repeat! Haha!

Andy's watching the Gordon Brown interview. If I'm perfectly honest with you, I will not be voting Labour, I have no political views, in this country it's all come down to a personality contest, and Gordon Brown has zero personality. Sorry.

So have plugged myself in. Could literally spend hours listening to music. I do this thing, which Andy really hates, I listen to the first 30 seconds of a song I love, get my fill, then move on. It's the only way to get through all the amazing stuff I have on my computer.

Like how much do I have? 10 Days worth! Crazy. Oh what a wondrous 10 days that would be, just me and my homies, all 3526 of them.

I must really annoy Andy, am now singing along to Lisa Lopes' "Block Party" at the top of my voice. God I can't wait to start driving myself to work, that's my personal karaoke time, I miss it badly.

Oh yeah, and it was Valentines today.

Big News: Standby

I got the Mothertruckin job!

I have a follower!

Horray for my first follower, Alex, I knew it would be you, but glad you did anyway! Now I really do have to try and be interesting. I lost my original list of 10 random things that I said I would post ages ago, so I've written a new one, so will try and post that later on today.

I have a horrible cold which is getting me down. Had a major depressive episode yesterday, I just sat in bed and cried. Then Andy did this whole, hand shaking thing trying to gee me up because him and Scarlett wanted to go and feed the ducks which just wound me up. Basically we had a huge argument because I'm sick of the situation we're in and so scared about how we're ever going to be able to change it. We're so broke we've had to borrow the money to pay for Scarlett's nursery registration, except then a credit card bill went out, so that's wiped that out straight away, my mum would kill me. It's just such a mess, why do we get into this much mess, we still have 2 and a half weeks until payday. Jesus. No wonder I'm stressed and depressed. We're on the cusp of wanting/needing a mortgage, but actually, I doubt we'll get one because we keep missing payments. ARGH! This wasn't meant to turn into a rant but it has. Bugger.

A Walk in the Park

I'm not very good at this photo a day thing lately, rubbish, must try harder.

Today, a photo of Scarlett this afternoon. We went for a walk in the park to feed the ducks. I was wearing my glasses (to hide bad make up), Andy was wearing his (he has to) and Scarlett too wanted to wear some glasses so she had her pink sunnies on. It moved one old lady to remark, "Is she hoping the sun will come out?". The funniest thing was that they weren't on her head properly and so were sort of bobbing up and down with every step!

Add to that the funny shiny rain mac and wellies, she was sort of walking with a funny hunch and she looked like a little old lady, rather like my great grandmother who I remember from my childhood. We called her Apple Granny for she had apple trees in her garden (not that they were ever very nice!)

EDIT: Just noticed, I posted this to the wrong blog, but I'll keep it here anyway as I like the photo.

Nurseries

Not sure where to begin really, this could morph into a mammoth and not sure I have time to do it and make dinner and eat it before 8:30 when we need to leave for Swing! Agh!

So basically, I set up two meetings for this afternoon to go and look at nurseries. Both are 'chains', one 'posh' (in my mother's words) and the other a sort of middle ground-ish.

Had the middle ground one first (I won't say the names) which is a 3 minute drive from home. They can only do a Monday and Friday for now (we needed/wanted Wednesday and Friday), so a slight downer to begin with. But the place is great, all on one level, clean and tidy, well kept, great atmosphere and ethos amongst the staff and the manager really knew what she was talking about, her own kids go there and she knew every kid by name. So we were really impressed. We were dreading the bit at the end where she handed over the price list, but were really pleasantly surprised as it's only £45 a day. She can go from 7:30am which means I can still do my 'earlies' at work, promotion or not, and pick her up at about 5:30ish. Which is a long day I know, but ultimately, I think it will benefit her. She seemed to fit right in, was playing with the other kids, fascinated by the water and the sand, brought a tear to my eye to see her so independent.

Onto the other one, closer to the University, the 'posher' of the two. Bearing in mind we've already had a great impression of the other one. So we arrived and were shown to a tiny waiting room. From the outset we were a bit weary, it smelt a bit like an old peoples home, a smell which only intensified as we went upstairs to the toddlers room where Scarlett would be placed. It was tiny, about a third of the space she'd have at the other one. Dated and dirty, really rundown and unkempt. Felt a bit bad for them as the girl showing us round was so enthusiastic. All the workers were in their teens, typical school drop outs (yes, massive generalisation there). Me and Andy were really struggling to focus, partly because it smelt, partly because it was rundown and I think our thoughts were just, "Christ, this is twice the price of the other one!"

She showed us round and we tried to keep our focus. She took us back to the waiting room at the end and gave us the pricelist and brochure. I already knew it was going to cost us a lot more for 2 days than the other one. Yeah, they can do a Wednesday and Friday like we want, but really, what's the point when we don't like it?! She asked if we wanted to meet the manager, who we'd already been told was on a conference call so we just said, Oh don't bother her if she's busy because we were just trying to get out of there! Had a brief chat with her, she seemed nice enough, limpest handshake ever! But we just wanted to go. Wish I'd called the first one straight back to say, I don't care that you can't give us the days we want, just save us from this place!

So, we're thinking she can go to the first one on a Monday and Friday, and we'll have to find a Childminder for the Wednesday. It's a pisser really because originally mum was going to do the Monday, because she doesn't work, but she really can't do a Wednesday. Bum. It's really going to stretch us, but I think we'll still be better off with Andy working.

Now just fingers crossed for that job that I'm interviewing for next week.

Privacy please?!

Hahaha, what a tit, so there I am thinking, no one reads my blog, and then I get told that actually, it was set to private! What a tit! So yeah, if there is anyone out there, welcome, I promise to be more interesting now I know people might actually be reading!!

Banana skins

Encountered the most hilarious sight this morning upon entering Scarletts room. She was completely naked in her cot, bum stuck proudly in the air. This is the kind of thing I really want to remember, because it was so hilarious I want to tell her when she gets older! God knows how long she had been like that. Ner nappy was wet so she must have done it in the early hours, thank god she didn't poo in that time! Poor thing was cold, but it was so funny to find her like that! Nutter!

Not a lot else to say really. Had a long conversation yesterday with the woman in my office about my mental states sometimes. My mum has come to the conclusion I'm on the bipolar scale. She's probably right but the GP is never going to believe that. Which sucks, because I'm sometimes such an arsehole to the people around me, it makes life really difficult for them and for me, because I feel guilty for being such an arse. Guess I just need to self manage. Mum suggested Kalms...!

Had my date and time for the interview. It's next Wednesday at 3:10 so fingers crossed (anyone who reads, I feel like putting some kind of coding in so that you have to comment on a post, you can never escape until you've left a comment!) I need to feel validated!

Money is still tight, had to call a load of places yesterday and tell them I'd missed the payment etc and that I'd pay them February's payment on the 19th. Rubbish. Meant to be going out this weekend but we're so poor I think, what's the point?

I need more hobbies, especially as at the minute, I can't go to the gym (one of the payments I missed, d'oh). I am really wanting to spend every night curled up listening to music at the minute. And I feel bad for this because it means I'm blocking Andy out the whole time I have my music on, but yknow, it's a way of getting some headspace from it all. I want a Subversive Crosstitch, anyone want to buy me one?